Am i a philospher???

I have been a great thinker since my childhood because I questioned my identity at a very early age, when probably most of us would peeing due to nightmares. There are various occasions when I proved myself been thinking maturely or may be this is because I had my wisdom tooth at an early age....haa haa haa What if a person does not get his/her wisdom tooth. Will he be a duffer till that time? How pathetic reason this is to imply for me being a philosopher.. Whatever.. I used to get very pleased whenever someone tells me that I will become a philosopher some day. However, I complied with the fact that I choose to be a researcher someday and did my masters of philosophy as well but still it is not worth for me to call a philosopher. However, there was a time when I use to make a daily dairy. There were many poems and various discussions held among other people or the talks I use to overhear them, the talks between couples or people travelling in the bus etc but what surprises me the most that there were very few incidents which actually inspired me to write about at the end of the day. Yes, there are many poems I have wrote but at present I have none of it with me. I was having my dairies but I sold them out. I don't know why? but earlier, I use to have my possession over my things especially my diaries. I use to write everyday but something took me off with this habit. May be the anger in me or may be I didn't like when I found that it had been read by someone whom I never wanted to read them. It was awful for me to think about this. There was anger in me and still it is there because whatever you try, but in the depth of your heart that hysterics keeps probing you to think "Why?" . Now, I am losing my possessiveness for many things. I am no more sensitive about the question of "why" and able to understand the things as being a practical person but seriously not following to be a practical at all. What philosophers actually do? Does he talk a lot about nature or actually just think.. haa haa haa I presume that a philosopher is the most boring person of this world because he thinks as only he wants to think or his mind perceives about the things but I am no boring. I seem to be very happy when I am able to think unthinkable which becomes most of the time humorous for me to think about the various possibilities. In general, are the people like this? They can actually follow the directions stated in the book wrote by any renowned or eminent person but they never try to figure out that he was himself inspired by his own life. Well, just think for a moment that you are getting inspired by your own life (wow! amazing). So, if you are getting inspired by some one's life will it be making your life to be as like his or not. Rather, I would say there are very few such instances when people actually say that I have the courage to lead my life as I want it to be. Ah! We listen too much and some do exactly told to them and some actually like to do everything their own way. Who are these people? Are these philosophers? I think they are. Well, I am a philosopher. It took me a half hour to actually figure out that I am actually a person who exactly does the things the way I like to do. I agree that many people must be angry with me but it's a great belief of mine that if you have to be a follower than completely follow someone because than you know whom to blame but do think how right this is or you can try being me (philosopher)

Kuch na Kahooo

The more simple the life looks, it gets more complicated than what i think it is. I been thinking, why am i not feeling happy, what am i sad about. I was lost in my thoughts and wanted to sit on the side of some bank of the river or in the midst of some busy lane of the road to sink up myself in the flow. I went upstairs and sat on the edge of the wall to have a clear look of the running Highway road. I was not thinking of any thing but my mind was talking to myself. I was not able to hear anything as was talking to myself but i was continously glaring on the crowd and something unknown to me was there in me like a third person.

While looking at the moving cars, people etc, something was departing from my soul and lifting of the load of my thoughts. It was a relief and at last i got my senses back talking to me instead of a third person living in me. I recollected myself in the memories of my life being happy and worried for some. I was knowing in a moment that what was causing me so much pain is the belief of letting go off the things from my life. I was sure that i am not at all doing something wrong. Why i need to hold on things where i can clearly entrace the end before i rush for it. Sometime the entrances are closed deliberately to avoid catastrophe for the life.

It is not a mistake to enrich yourself with the beauty of living the life by crossing over your own barriers. There are very few people who can contain so much to share in their life and a few to hide. Even the bad's of your life can replicate into the life's of someone you know or not known but are we really remain indifferent even to the people we are not knowing. I think i am not. Even you give a look to beggar too and pity or exasperate on his continous pleas. So, its a beauty of yourself to forgive others and yourself for repenting on the mistakes we like to hide for whole life but believe me it give more pain than crossing over the lane because either the beggar keep pleaing in your thoughts everytime or you see him leaving blessing you for a happy life.

Soften your hard before it started to clot life.